landmark education grad hans jacobson
Hans O Jacobson
Sweden

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A Set of Powerful New Tools

As a management consultant, I train executives in leadership and teamwork skills. I teach others to be the kind of leader who is able to elicit teamwork and produce a better product collectively than what could have been produced individually. You might think that because I was successful and had been doing this for several years, I was good about practicing what I taught, but I wasn’t. Taking The Landmark Forum changed that.

I heard about The Landmark Forum from a friend who invited me to a guest night to learn more about it. One of the benefits the leader talked about was how, after taking the course, he had become closer to his father and was able to tell his dad that he loved him. It was a touching story, but it made me nervous. My relationship with my own father wasn’t great and I had no desire to change it. I refused to consider that I might be responsible for the way it was and was concerned that if I took The Landmark Forum, I might be compelled to admit some wrongdoing on my part. So, while I was intrigued by what I heard that night, it was about a year before I actually registered for the course.

During that time my friend would ask if I wanted to take The Landmark Forum. I’d say yes, but then put it off. Eventually, I realized I was playing a silly game and that I might be cheating myself out of something very useful. The irony is that when I finally did take The Landmark Forum, one of the first results was that I saw how much I loved my father and wanted to connect with him in deeper, more intimate way.

In fact, I saw that my relationship with my dad was symptomatic of my other relationships. I just didn’t connect with people in meaningful ways. I had always been bright and successful at everything, and basically wanted to figure things out on my own. I always had to be in control. Before I became a business owner and worked for someone else, I was the CEO. Somehow I had decided that asking another person for help, even for ideas, would mean I couldn’t do it myself. I was simply unwilling to let others contribute to me. Sitting in The Landmark Forum, I began to recognize the times that my attitude had cost me success in business and had left me feeling disconnected in my personal life.

These realizations, this process of simply becoming aware of how I had constructed my life, were all the motivation I needed to change. I left The Landmark Forum knowing I could be the kind of person others could contribute to. The result is that I now have much more intimate and loving relationships throughout my life, not only with my father, but also with my wife, my children, my clients, and my employees.

With my family, I have powerful new tools. Now, if my wife and I argue, we resolve our differences in minutes instead of days. My wife and I are partners now, in our marriage and as parents. My relationship with my children was good before I took The Landmark Forum, but now I’m more aware of myself as a leader and as a role model for them. Even though my son is only three-years-old, if I do something wrong, I apologize to him every time. I’m not sure that he fully understands it, but it’s important to me.

My business has also improved and I enjoy it more. I understand my own training better and I practice it. I’ve always said that if you're going to be a successful manager, you have to be interested in other people, you have to listen. I do that now. I connect with my employees and with my clients. I ask for advice; I let others be my coach.

Hans Jacobson, 38, is married and the father of two children, ages three and five. He lives in Sweden.